ISO.

Got back on Tinder and OkCupid. I’m not invested in the outcome and that is the perfect mindset to date. Just nice conversations that lead to nothing.

Being healed isn’t a prerequisite to dating them. It’s better that I’m not. Most men want to date a woman who’s like their dog: perky, cute and obedient. John taught me that. I don’t want to waste the best version of me on men anymore. They won’t appreciate it.

I also look great in this dress.

First date night.

Tonight was the first Tuesday we didn’t have a date. I didn’t make plans on how to spend the time but it worked out.

I looking at my powelines in the library when I started tinkering with TMD’s logo. I like the rough draft.☺️

Then, an old friend reached out and we planned a chat for tonight, just as John and I would’ve been settling into dinner. It was great. We talked as I walked through a local park. I explained that while I had no idea where I was headed, I knew the path I was on wasn’t working. It was time to try a new one. Any new one. He said he understood and that I was brave.

Afterwards, I took myself for some sushi and bought a waffle cream cones from Coldstone. No ice cream – just the cones. Last week’s $100 ice cream binge from Dairy Queen still filled my freezer. I thought the cones would be a nice complement. Before I ate, I headed to the Preserve to record video then walked around my neighborhood for a bit. I survived date night date-less. Go me.

Next week, I’m going to finish the Gottman book. Date #8 is dreams. With him, my dreams were hidden, even from me. We could’ve never finished this together. I’m glad he brought me this far. I’ll love him forever*, just for that one act. He was my adventure and play buddy.


*But I will kick him in the dick, the first chance I get. However, that’s an improvement from wanting to chain him to a radiator in a basement, so I consider it progress.